Mindful Self-Compassion FAQs

In recent years I have become increasingly interested in Mindful Self Compassion.  Why you may ask?  Because in my work as a Leadership Coach, I find so many high achieving individuals who give themselves a really really hard time.  Constantly striving to be better.  Nothing wrong with that but often they are  driving themselves into the ground to achieve more, excel more….never feeling that what they are doing is enough.

In my work with women leaders, this often spills out beyond the world of work and into other areas of their lives.  In the numerous roles women occupy, they often are juggling a million things, trying to keep everyone else happy and are often left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and dissatisfied.

In my personal and professional experience Mindful Self Compassion can be an antidote for this.  Learning to fully understand what we need, and then offering ourselves kindness and compassion in moments of suffering, can dramatically and profoundly shift our inner dialogue and our outer experience.

Self compassion has been widely researched and studies have shown that it results in a reduction in depression, stress, anxiety and burnout and an increase in life satisfaction, resilience, optimism, physical health and happiness.

Here are some common questions answered.

• What’s self-compassion got to do with leadership?

  Great question.  Self-compassion increases wellbeing, happiness, optimism, resilience whilst reducing stress, anxiety, depression and burnout.  All useful for sustainable leadership.  In addition, it leads to more compassionate, caring and supportive relationships and increased personal ownership, accountability, goal striving behaviours.  Leaders modelling these healthy behaviours positively impacts their teams and organisational culture.  Ultimately inspiring others to behave at their best.

• Do I need to have experience meditating or a mindfulness practice?

  No, it’s not necessary.  Many people who start mindful self-compassion have no previous experience of mindfulness.

• If I’m kinder to myself will I let myself off the hook and loose my drive and motivation?

  Contrary to what some might think, it is possible to have high levels of motivation without that harsh critical voice inside always telling you to try harder.  Mindful self-compassion replaces your ‘inner critic’ with your ‘inner coach’ helping you achieve more in a kinder more supportive way.  Avoiding the pitfalls of an inner critic that can reduce confidence, and drive perfectionism and a fear of failure.  Research has shown that those with higher levels of self-compassion, are more likely to persist when the going gets tough and pick themselves up when setbacks occur. 

• Isn’t self-compassion a bit selfish?

  Research has shown that self-compassionate people are more compassionate to others, more likely to compromise in conflict, have better more caring relationships with others.  As a self-compassionate leader

• Isn’t self-compassion about weakness?

  In actual fact self-compassion is a strength not a weakness.  Studies have shown that it builds resilience - self compassionate people are more likely to better cope with major life setbacks such as divorce and chronic pain.

• Will self-compassion make me needy?

  The opposite is actually true.  Self-compassion helps to reduce our need of of others, by developing the internal emotional resources to meet our own emotional needs.  Making us more autonomous in our action, producing less ‘people pleasing’ and complying behaviours.

For more information on the myths of self-compassion download our PDF:

For further resources checkout www.self-compassion.org.  https://centerformsc.org/pages/meditations-and-practices